BlitzkriegBeauty's Datingish

I don't mind PDA, but this?!

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:33:13 GMT

As a freshman in college, I know plenty of people in my classes, and around my community college who are basically the same age as I am, 18-20, but act like they're still in high school.
I'm talking mostly about when it comes to relationships and PDA.

Most mature people I know who are in relationships are completely okay with walking down a hallway together, or sitting together in public, without practically being inside each other's shirts.

As I type, on the bench in the sitting area, right next to me, there is a couple. The guy is sitting with his back against the arm rest of the bench, with his legs across the seat next to him. His girlfriend is laying down in his lap, on her belly with her boobs pressed up against his crotch. Her one leg is tangled around one of his legs, and it looks like they're both attempting to study.

I understand getting into strange cuddly positions at home, or even in a dorm common area, but at school?

I honestly don't care about cuddling a little bit, holding hands, kissing, and even making out a little bit in an area of the school that's not highly populated, but really, can the crazy sexual-looking positions wait until you're home?
I've seen some of these crazy "cuddling-positions" that are so bad that if they didn't have clothes on, they would qualify for an X rating.
And this is coming from people who are technically adults.

It grosses me out, more than a little bit.

Oh, and an update on the couple I was mentioning earlier:
They're not full-on making out.
And they'll probably wonder why they did so badly on their assignments when they "studied" for hours.

I have to respect your boundaries, but you won't respect my needs?

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:32:13 GMT

This goes mostly for younger people, but I've heard plenty of talk about women especially, who force their partners to completely respect their boundaries and justify the lack of sexual activities with, "You don't need it." You don't physically need it, but in order to be satisfied, yes, you do.
Why is it that it's okay for that same person to completely disrespect their partner's desires?

No, forcing someone into sexual activity is absolutely not okay.
But, as far as I'm concerned, forcing someone out of sexual activity isn't okay either.
It may not be on the same level as forced sexual activity, but in a relationship it's still pretty wrong.

Your partner should be able to fulfill your needs. If you need boundaries, you need a partner who has similar boundaries. If you want lots of sexual activity, you need a partner who wants the same.

The common argument against this is, "Well, if you love someone..."
Yes, if you love someone you need to respect them.
But, this respect goes for their boundaries, and their desires.
If you love someone, don't you want to meet their needs, and wouldn't you hope that they would want to meet your needs?

Don't go out and do something you really don't want to do, go ahead and stay within your comfort level, but you may want to figure out if your partner's wants and boundaries fall into that comfort level.

Flowers.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 04:46:57 GMT

Flowers are one of the most cliche gifts for a significant other, next to chocolate, jewelry, and teddy bears.
But, unlike the other three stereotypical gifts, flowers seem to be the most pointless in my opinion.
Sure, they smell good, they look pretty, and there are practically endless amounts of brownie points that come with the number of compliments and comparisons that flowers set someone, especially a man, up for.

First of all, they aren't exactly a lasting gift. After about a week or so they start to look all wilted, and sometimes start to smell funny. If you can manage to successfully dry them, you may be able to keep the brittle, dried up shells for sentimental value, if you can manage to keep them in a place where they won't ever be touched again.
Flowers are also ridiculously expensive. If you've ever even wandered into the flower department at a grocery store, you probably know how pricey even just a couple of daisies can get.

I personally think flowers are a waste.
Save the money you'd spend on them, and go out somewhere nice, like a movie or lunch.
Do something with more opportunity for good memories and fun instead.

Just because you're in love doesn't mean you should date.

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 20:27:29 GMT

One thing I've personally noticed about dating, especially at younger ages is that people will automatically jump into a relationship with anyone they like, even if it's so incredibly obvious that it won't work out. I think this eagerness to create a relationship is what leads to so many failed ones.
People seem to have a hard time stopping their pattering hearts, and raging hormones for a second to think about what may happen if they do get into a relationship with someone. In my experience, they're too overwhelmed with the wonderful feelings of love, lust, and excitement that they forgot to look for some of the fundamentals of a good, healthy relationship.
Communication: One of the absolute necessities for a good relationship is communication. Communication is the glue that holds all of the aspects of a relationship together. If you lack in communication skills, maybe you should work on those a little bit more before you decide to go steady and exclusive. Also ask yourself about lying. Do you lie to this person often, have you before, what were the lies about? Have they lied to you, etc?
Trust: Trusting your partner, potential or not, is a must. If you don't trust your partner, or if they don't trust you, usually accusations and high insecurities arise. You'll feel bad about yourself, and suspicious of your partner, or vice versa. If there's a lack of trust, stay away from a relationship.
The Ability to Get Along: Ask yourself how you function as good friends. How often do you argue/bicker with this person? What do you argue about if you do? If you don't argue, why don't you? And things like that. If you find that your potential mate is a common opponent in arguments, rethink a relationship.
Love*: Yes, love. This is pretty self explanatory. If you don't love this person, and they don't love you, why are you in a relationship with them?
*Substitue the word love for any other word you want to call being interested in early, or potential relationships.
Sexual Compatibility: Even if you aren't sexually active, and don't want to be, your partner needs to want basically the same thing. If you choose to be abstinent, and your partner wants to be sexually active, there will be tension. You also can't have widely different turn-ons and offs. If you're into pain and completely turned off by stereotypical romance, and your partner is completely the opposite, you will not be satisfied.

If you're having issues with relationships working out, maybe it's because you're not thinking about how a relationship may work out between you and the person you're interested in.
So, just because you like someone, or even love someone, doesn't mean that a relationship will work out for you.
Relationships are just like houseplants. You can't substitute light for fertilizer, in the same way that you can't substitute love for communication, or trust for sexual compatibility, and so on.

My personal love story.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:48:17 GMT

Neither of us really remember when we met, but we know it was through mutual friends.
He had a huge thing for me since 8th grade, and I had a crush on him for a few years, but things managed to keep us from getting together. We became really good friends.
In 10th grade, he tried to tell me that he liked me, but through a friend, a friend that had a problem with lying, so I didn't believe it.
One of my best friends at the time, (who I later found out was deliberately trying to keep us apart because he was jealous) told me that it was a lie, and he didn't like me.
So, we were both pretty sad about it, but tried to move on. We got closer, and closer than we had been, and soon we were best friends.
Then, he got really heavy into drugs, and ended up dating a different girl mainly because her friends had hookups. This ripped me apart.
He got heavier into drugs, developed an opiate addiction, and I confronted him about it. I told him that he needed to slow down, or stop. He told me to give him one good reason. I told him I loved him, and we both cried.
Over the next few weeks, he stopped seeing his girlfriend, he started hanging out with me, and eventually he broke up with her.
Then, we got together.
This was 2 1/2 years ago, and we're still together.
We're currently living together, and plan to for a very long time.
He was my first for a lot of things, and I was his first for a lot of things.
♥